Wednesday Wipeout: Thats gonna cost you!

You wanna know the biggest difference between a board sports wipeout and the clusterfuck that is the Oracle Team taking a spill with their America’s Cup boat? When you wipeout, you look like an asshole. When these dudes wipe out they look like assholes, and it costs ten million bucks. Thats ten sticks in Wall Street talk:

Watch carefully as one of the crew members actually goes head first through the wing (thats what the mega wealthy use instead of the all too plebeian sails on a typical mega yacht). I wonder if the Romney’s sponsored this rig in addition to their ballerina horse?

Speaking Bromanian: Tomahawking Some Tuna

Tomahawk [Tom uh hawk]  – Noun, 1. A small hatchet like axe often made of stone used for splitting skulls and scalping bitches.  2. Verb. The act of nosediving your kite into any solid or liquid object thereby bringing its forward motion to an abrupt and unwanted stop.  3 Verb. To damage or harm a person or object with words or actions usually eliciting a negative reaction from the tomahawkee.  Example:  ” Bro! I was about to get that girlies digits! why gotta roll up in here and tomahawk my game.”

While this bro’s tomahawk wasn’t quite so egregious as shitting the bed while on wingman duty, he still hucked it pretty good.

I would guess that the conversation between these BROs is going to get hot:

“Bro!, I was all like, shredding that glass you were throwing off your stern, and WHAMO, you hit my kite!”

“Bro!, you can’t be paragliding that close to people, you tomahawked your shit right in my face”

“Bro!, I’m a ‘wind powered vessel’ I get the right of way!”

“Bro!, get fucked…  BBRRRAAPPPP   VVVVVOOOOOOMMMMMMMmmmmmmmm   m   m  m  m”  (as motor fires and leaves the kiter bobbing in his wake, holding only his chicken loop)

Here’s to you BROs… Fisher-bro, you shoulda started drinking earlier, you might have been nimble enough to avoid screwing up this guys flow.  Kiter-bro, bummer about your 2001 22m pulley-bar Cabrinha, its in a better place now.  Also, good thing your mom put you in swimming lessons as a kid.

Wednesday Wipeout; he will never try that trick again

When people eat shit, it is funny.  To that end, we at KiteBROding will be bringing you some of the best documented wipeouts available in our weekly segment, Wednesday Wipeout.

This weeks winner is a real doosie:

Look closely and notice that his lines are as slack as the jaw on a middle Mississippi banjo player.  Ok, I am not positive that Deliverance was based in Mississippi, but you get the idea.  All I can say is that I hope this Bros butthole is properly puckered before his lines snap tight, or he is gonna mess his wetsuit.